Thursday, April 10, 2008

Down

For some reason or another (MS), my moods flip up and down. I take some really good meds to help with that. I say really good because the meds I was taking years ago did not work very well and, in turn, was affecting everyone around me. A few years ago, I tried something new (which I had done on multiple occasions) and this worked! Really well!

I can still tell when my moods flip. It is not nearly as drastic as it was in the past, but I can still tell. Bipolar is what they call it, but I know what causes it (sort of.... since no one really knows the hows and whys about MS).

So, right now, I am down. I see it as a little scale of 1 through 10, 5 being normal. I now sway between about 3 and 6. I am down at about 4 right now. So, not too bad. Really doesn't affect me all that much at that level... just sort of annoying, for lack of a better way to explain it.

There are some triggers, but they don't affect me as much as they used to. The main ones at this point are normal and weird ones. Like my health (I am still smoking... bad bad bad), family (chaos is a trigger, lack of time with my wife), and intagibles (like things breaking, money, etc).

I don't think that there was any type of definite trigger this time, although I have been working a stupid amount of hours as of late. 60+ hours a week is not a good thing with MS which causes me to be even more tired than normal.

I am getting a bit burned out with the fact that I am the only person doing what I do for my company. If I had extra time, I would train someone to help me, but time is not something that I have had as of late. I think I am going to have to slow my work down so I CAN train someone. People I work with (boss) are a little concerned with it, as well.

My wife has taken on a second job teaching at a local college and getting ready to start her PhD. This is a plan for the future in the fact it will give us more stability. Although, it is going to be a tough time for me having to endure that period of our lives with her being extremely busy and more of an onus placed upon me. Just scares me a bit. I can handle it, but still....

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