Tuesday, September 16, 2008


So, I quit smoking a couple weeks ago and it sucks. I suddenly fell into a state of depression. It just seems that I am no one to everyone.

I pretty much sucks.

I have been trying to figure out what I can do to get over this, but I have found nothing that helps. No one to really talk to about it since everyone seems to be too busy.

On top of this, it seems that I have piles of stuff that I need to do, yet cannot make headway on anything. Money is always an issue. My wife seems to believe that everything is fine, but I don't see it that way since I am in the time of my life where I should be making money enough to catch up on all the debt, but I can't.

I have things to fix at home. I have things to fix at work. I have things to fix.... well, everywhere. I hate being run-down all the time. I hate having to veg out because I am too tired to do anything after work. Once the weekend comes around, I try to catch up as best that I can, but it never seems to be enough.

I wish I could do something that would take all this away, although if it did go away then I would have nothing to do, which would also be a problem.

So, it seems like a lose-lose situation to me. I cannot win, no matter how many caffeine pills I pop. And, once it seems like I might be able to, I go and do something like break my foot. (Actually a toe up inside the foot)

I pretty much snap at anything... fuse is really short. And, this is really bad for my family. My teenage daughter says that she is tired of hearing about Multiple Sclerosis... I know she is a teenager and shouldn't take much from it. But, that sucks, too.

So, basically, I am depressed with no end in sight. Maybe I should start smoking again.