Still Alive

It has been a very long time since I wrote anything to this blog. I have been venting some on Facebook which I have since realized is not the best place to do it.

A lot have things have changed in the past year, but many things have stayed the same. First and foremost, I am still searching for a new identity and a new source of income. My income remains the same, yet the cost of my healthcare goes up. I have sold off just about as much as I can, done a few little $50 here and there jobs, but I am barely scraping by. What is worse is that I still have to encounter my old life and the affluence I had, but did not realize and took for granted.

I sit around trying to think of something to make my life worthwhile now and I just can't seem to think of anything. My best idea so far is to go back to my old life, but that would be taking a very large chance and I am not sure I can handle it, physically or mentally. I know that I am stronger now than I was just 2 years ago, but it is a huge chance to take with my disability money as well as my LTD income. At this point, I have no real backup income, no family inheritance to look forward to, no one to come to my rescue... but I do have knowledge, skills and experience.... sucks to waste it as I am now, I even have a little website where I work with another MS related friend, Terry.... www.kcitguy.com to make money, albeit very little to this point.

What I need is a really good idea for something to create... but I have realized that every idea that I have come with are not so groundbreaking and even those are far and few....

And here I am sitting and thinking of what will be my new identity..... these are things to think about constantly...