Everything is normal (for me that is)

So, since the last post which I used voice recognition for was a failure. Not only was it nearly unreadable, it scared my family when they read it. After I completed the blog entry, I went for a drive at around 4am to clear my head. I was so upset and needed to get away from where I was at so I could think.

Well to make a long story short, I was out in areas with no cell phone reception and when my wife got up, she got really worried and couldn't get a hold of me... so she called the police to look for me. I found that out when I was back in range and told her that I would be home by noon. I got home at 11am to meet the police. They wanted to know if I was suicidal. I said no and that if I was, the 3 ton truck I was driving around would have given me ample chance. Anyway, I sat down with them for a few minutes, removed the knife I wear on my belt. We talked about where I used to live (happy hollow rd) and how it is where one of the cops live now. We talked about the legends in that area and so forth. The police were completely at ease knowing that even though I had not slept for a couple days, I was lucid.

The told me that my wife wanted me to go get checked out at the hospital. So I went. They could find NOTHING wrong, but my wife was insistent on getting me into A hospital for a day or two to adjust my meds... no one would take me because there was nothing wrong! Anyway, they did find a place for me after all. So, I checked into a "loony bin". It sucked and they did not know anything about my MS meds and they were not in their "drug choice list... so they substituted what they had and kept me up until 3am that first day so they could get all the meds together that I needed. Then woke me up by drawing blood from the palm of my hand. That was 5am. Two hours of sleep... wow. So the place really SUCKED. I can go on and on about what was wrong there and how they treated people. But I don't have the energy to explain all of that experience... maybe later.

Again, readers digest version, I got out and then got into my neurologist even though I had appt the day before that I missed because I was still "locked up". It was my neurologist's day off, but he came in to see me anyway. He was either VERY dedicated or he had something important to tell me.

I had an MRI the week before and he needed to show me the results. Basically, they found a mass on my pituitary gland! He sent me to KU to get another, more detailed MRI and then to a neurosurgeon there. I am a MU guy, but they told me that KU med was the best in the area. A little hint, they SUCK as well... damn my luck. I finally got in to see the neurosurgeon and they had several people look at it and they decided that I should just come back in 6 months to follow it. But, they were setting up an "emergency" appointment with an endocrinologist... well it is a month and huge medical bill later and the "emergency" appointment wasn't such an emergency since I have not heard back from them, even after leaving messages.

We decided to get a second opinion and asked around about who is the best endocrinologist and neurosurgeon in the area. Since my wife is a medical provider (DNP,FNP) herself, she got the real information about who to go to. So WE made appointments at both.

The endocrinologist was first and he looked at my labs and noticed the mass, or whatever it is, is impeding testosterone secretion. He ordered a repeat of the labs to see if it has changed in the past few weeks. I then went to the neurosurgeon and he thought that at the bare minimum we needed a biopsy of the mass. So, all the tests have now come back and I got copies of all the medical reports (you ALWAYS keep copies of your own medical records... they are YOURS) and I saw what the endocrinologist said about the mass. He thought there was a decent possibility of it being cancerous (the real cancer, not a benign cyst or something).

So, here is the situation now. Since I take Tysabri, which is a dangerous infusion to say the least, the neurologist, endocrinologist, PCP (primary care provider) and neurosurgeon agree on the course of action: I start on high dose steroids, hoping that they will shrink the mass although steroids are a dangerous addition to the tysabri. Use testosterone creme to help raise my testosterone levels, since that will help prepare me for surgery. The surgery is the second week of August which puts me nearly 8 weeks off of the Tysabri (once a month infusion).

The conclusion to all of this is that I hope that it IS something that NEEDED to be removed or fixed and it is NOT malignant brain cancer. So everything would be okay since I took care of it so quickly. I have a small advantage that I get MRI's every year, so it was spotted fairly early. But, I am obviously worried especially when I saw it in my medical records... but, I am also pissed. First, it could be because of the tysabri since last year's MRI showed nothing and in a matter of less than a year, I got a 12mm growth and STARTED taking tysabri... We will have to see about that. Second thing I am pissed about is that KU dropped the ball and did not diagnose, but just pushed it back another 6 months instead and could not figure out how to set up an appointment for me... If they truly missed this because of incompetence, I am going to look into a lawsuit. This is way too important of stuff (my brain) to be just casting it aside. This is the one that really pisses me off. And, I hope that all ends fine for me, but is was bad enough that it deserves a lawsuit.

Not only am I really worried, drugged up, and in pain a lot, I am REALLY PISSED.

Just late night with no one to talk to...

Sub this is my voice recognition program and I suck at it. So I've spent more time correcting what I have said then speaking. But I guess it should say that my computer is worse at it than I am. But I still have my hands on the keyboad knowing all the mistakes aren't going to make speaking since I've had a few Sailors and coke

Is so I was looking at the pictures that go cross my TV screen it is the all the pictures that I have taken with a digital camera are in one folder debts rotates over my TV screen when the TVs on and not in use. Or so it had a little draw that it hasn't had in the past, hence the drinking, It is funny how you notice things that you should would have noticed before. My wife gets enthralled by the TV screen my mother gets enthralled by the TV screen all three of my daughters get enthralled by the TV screen and I noticed as much as it took to install it and design it that way. Sucks to be me. I am pretty much an idiot most of the time.

And this is my first true voice recognition blog. I apologize to 4 miswording vs misspelling. But that phrase has taken me 10 to plus attempts still getting it wrong so backspace and delete and im so impressed it got backspace and delete correct.

The pictures that I saw and I haven't seen in a very long time and now I understand why my wife, mother, and children become fixated on the TV when this is running. In this class ad to see those years and not be able to remember much of them myself. I will leave it at that so as to not cry.

I saw a new movie well it is not new but is more than a decade old but is the only movie that I know of that is about multiple sclerosis oh my god its belt multiple sclerosis correctly. But it is a movie named quote go now unquote. It was not released in the United States so I had to buy it as APAL copy and convert it to the NT SC format that the United States uses were used to use. Regardless my computer to read a pal copy. I read it ripped it and played it back through my TV that is currently playing pictures of my children. It was almost unbearable to watch. Only those that have an illness that's manifests itself like multiple sclerosis would know.

Unfortunately I noticed that my title says multiple sclerosis chiefs Ms. Zhu oracle. Unfortunately I do not too much oracle anything being disabled like I am. And everything seems revolve around multiple sclerosis. Looking at for my eyes it seems logical and predictable but to my eyes also if a clean socks. Sound that last phrase out and figure out what I said.

So long to my late night. I will see if I can find something else to do more somewher else to wither. You may notice some words are not reasonable but that's what makes this blocg interesting is to try to figure it out.

Still Here

I thought if I got some voice recognition software, I would blog more. I have simply been "down" for a while and haven't had the ability to do the blogging. Then it got to be too much information to talk about. So, I guess I will just start from now.

I currently have a bunch of staples in my left ankle from my 3rd left ankle surgery. This time they just took out all the hardware they had put in a few years back after the spiral fracture of my lower left leg.

Still down and it is amazing that I am typing now. I think I am just avoiding some of the stuff I have agreed to do for people. Sometimes I bite off more than I can chew. I am paying for it now.